Monday, January 7, 2013

Wine-Not?

It is a well known and documented fact that I love my wine. It is also a well known fact that I am crazy. Sometimes, those two facts blend together and a brain baby is born. A beautiful, bouncy nugget of wine splashed insanity that I show off at dinner parties and during my visits to the therapist. Just kidding, I can't afford a therapist.

Generally, my crazy is well contained in my home. A gift I give to my family over and over and over and over. And over again. To know me is to love me, some say. When they say that, however, they are talking about someone else.

So, what happens when I birth my brain babies? Well, I find it's crucial to surround myself with a tribe of hilarious doulas to make the birthing experience a joyous one. It's helpful to have support because, as with any birthing process, there is very little sleep and plenty of second guessing your ability to actually deliver. After the birth, there is ample joy and celebratory drinking as we embrace the miracle of creating life. Even if, in this case, it was a birth that more closely resembles the rise of Frankenstein. That's Doctor Frankenstein to you.

So, please grab your beverage of choice and enjoy this first brain baby of 2013; an advertisement for the newest and most sensational parenting product to EVER hit the marketplace.

Feeling overtired? Underappreciated? Overworked? Don't fret. Help is on the way!

Wine-Not? GUARANTEED to ease your troubles.






Love and thanks to my fantastic doulas who helped bring Wine-Not? to life. With friends like this, it's best to invest in Poise Pads. (in order of appearance)

Ninja Mom
Suburban Snapshots
Hollow Tree Ventures
Toulouse and Tonic
Motherhood, WTF
HouseTalkN
Let Me Start By Saying

And, a huge thank you to my husband, "Mr. BPM". When I told him it was my dream to create a fake infomercial (an infauxmercial, if you will), he not only wielded the camera, piano, and co-edited, but, also agreed to remain married to me. 
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43 comments:

  1. Anna at www.mylifeandkids.comJanuary 7, 2013 at 7:32 AM

    Oh - it is so fabulous and hysterical! Where can I order a case of Wine-Not?

    (Love your doulas!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 7:36 AM

      Thank you, Anna. My doulas are the greatest! So happy you enjoyed it.

      Delete
  2. DeannaJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:12 AM

    Love it! Hysterical and oh so true!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:37 AM

      Thank you, Deanna! Why worry when you can Wine-Not? Cheers!

      Delete
  3. The Dose of RealityJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:13 AM

    Crying with laughter! This is AWESOME.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 8:38 AM

      Thank you! Laughter is the BEST review. Wine-Not?, my friend. Cheers!

      Delete
  4. Jen PiwtpittJanuary 7, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    Holy crap, that was funny. I need to see the words to your jingle and disclaimer. It went so fast, I know I missed some gems in there. Great job, that was a lot of work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:02 PM

      *cue cheesy jingle* Wine-Not? guaranteed to ease your troubles. Wine-Not? For relief make it a double. When your pants are in a bunch, please consider drinking lunch. You can't think of a reason not to Wine-Not? YEAH!

      Delete
    2. TNMomJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:12 AM

      Cute touch, reading Jens book! :)

      Delete
  5. Kim at Let Me Start By SayingJanuary 7, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    Thanks for letting me make my infauxmercial debut!
    Now where's my free Wine-Not??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:03 PM

      Oddly, none of the sponsor hopefuls I've reached out to have returned my calls. ;) Thank you so much for adding your funny.

      Delete
  6. RobynHTVJanuary 7, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    It just gets funnier and funnier the more I watch it! It was a pleasure and an honor playing a role in coaxing this beauty from your brain's birth canal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:04 PM

      Thank you! I hope your children don't ask you for ANY sandwiches today. You are amazing. Thanks for being a part of this.

      Delete
    2. CatJanuary 7, 2013 at 10:17 PM

      Not only was it awesome, but it was cool to HEAR your voice, Robyn...since I'm your stalker and all (I just haven't been doing a very good job of it now that we live only 5 hours apart. Or something.)

      Wait. Was that weird?

      Delete
    3. TNMomJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:02 AM

      LOL, Robyn, your bit was my favorite! I LOL'd! This whole thing is genius!
      Devan

      Delete
    4. RobynHTVJanuary 9, 2013 at 9:40 AM

      Hi! **waves** Sorry to hijack your comment section BPM, but it's so much fun to see somma my homies over here! And Cat, I have a disease that prevents me from using my real voice when I'm being recorded. I can't help it, I think it has to do with being a terrible actress or something. Those were my Fake Housewife and Fake Princess voices, repectively. The last video I posted back before Christmas, when I was drunk, it a lot closer to what I really sound like. ;)

      Delete
  7. ToulouseJanuary 7, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    You have birthed a genius! I keep watching it over and over again just to catch all the clever and hysterical stuff in the credits!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:04 PM

      Thank you for being a part of this! How lucky am I to have friends like you?

      Delete
  8. LisaJanuary 7, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    My God... you almost made me shoot coffee out of my nose. This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. And all of the bloggers who participated? My heroes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:05 PM

      Thank you! It's great to read a response like this because after spending the time editing, putting it together, writing, etc. you just don't know if it's funny. Hearing that it is makes my day. Ok, week. OK, my year. Thanks for watching, Lisa!

      Delete
  9. UnknownJanuary 7, 2013 at 11:46 AM

    Congratulations! You birthed a beautiful creature! Thank you for including my shenanigans and for laboring over this!
    Kerry at HouseTalkN

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:06 PM

      Kerry, thank YOU for agreeing to participate in my cray-cray. xo

      Delete
  10. Adorned From AboveJanuary 7, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    this is too funny. I could have used this when my kids were little. We had Friday Afternoon Happy Hour, which we still do today. Great video.
    Debi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:07 PM

      Thanks for taking the time to watch, Debi! So happy you enjoyed it.

      Delete
  11. UnknownJanuary 7, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. UnknownJanuary 7, 2013 at 12:44 PM

    Too freaking funny!!!! Thanks for the Monday morning laugh!!!!

    (had to delete my last comment because my kid was pulling my arm and caused a typo. WINE-NOT, please!!!!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:07 PM

      Wine-Not will come right to your doorstep! ;)

      Thank you so much for the view and for the comment! xo

      Delete
  13. UnknownJanuary 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    This was perfect! You ladies and MR. BPM) rock--how are you all possibly this witty and funny and still human? Laughing so hard I don't even know if I need Wine-Not to make this Monday seem bearable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:09 PM

      Oh, thank you so much Meredith for the comment and the amazing compliment. It was so much fun making this. To hear that you enjoyed it so much makes the behind the scenes work totally worth it! xo

      Delete
  14. AnonymousJanuary 7, 2013 at 1:41 PM

    I would like to order 27 cases of Wine-Not. Make that a standing order for 27 cases EVERY month. I'd HATE to run out!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BadParentingMomentsJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:10 PM

      I've made a note and the Wine-Not? Delivery Truck is ON THE Waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy *cue Wine-Not? jingle*

      Thanks, fishducky! xo

      Delete
  15. Nicole Leigh ShawJanuary 7, 2013 at 3:24 PM

    Well, it's not the prettiest baby I've ever seen, but it has lots of personality.

    I kid! Thanks for letting me play. Really? The whole thing could have just been you and that deliciously clever jingle/disclaimer.

    But, to be clear, this isn't an exercise video about me? I'm still a bit confused on that point.

    ReplyDelete
  16. McKennaJanuary 7, 2013 at 3:51 PM

    This is so hilarious. I love you guys. That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Janine HuldieJanuary 7, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    Thanks for the Monday pickup here and truly love you ladies!!! :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. UnknownJanuary 7, 2013 at 6:39 PM

    Why do I feel like I'm going to be seeing this stuff on a store shelf near me very soon...

    ReplyDelete
  19. HeathterJanuary 7, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    Whoa, mama! I have the perfect pairing for Wine Not. I'm taking a Mom Sabbatical this month (yep, I'm kicking off 2013 with a 30-day "mom freeze" by doing NOTHING for my children). Wine not combine my Mom Sabbatical with your delivery services? Mama might never leave the couch again...

    ReplyDelete
  20. CatJanuary 7, 2013 at 10:21 PM

    I had to wait ALL DAY to see this since I couldn't seem to get it on my "devices". TOTALLY worth the wait! And not only was it super funny, but it was neat to see my fav bloggesses animated.

    Yup, I just put super and neat in the same sentence. Wine-Not?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Gina Jacobs ThomasJanuary 7, 2013 at 10:31 PM

    Man, did I need that laugh today! *reaching for my wine now...*

    ReplyDelete
  22. TNMomJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:05 AM

    This is so awesome! Yall are hilarious, going back to watch again! Devan

    ReplyDelete
  23. Christian at Point Counter-Point Point PointJanuary 8, 2013 at 8:10 PM

    Great video. I'm thinking you guys need to spin this off into a sitcom. NBC is going to be needing some shows for their Must See TV pretty soon. They need to green light this post haste.

    ReplyDelete
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