I Believe.

The world can be a cynical place. It is easy to lose sight of  the magic of this season as we rush, overextend, overbuy and become overwhelmed.

I am as guilty of this new-age celebration of marketing as anyone else. I worry about the number of presents we will have under the tree. I place my love squarely inside a box with a bow. I believe that my ability to provide what is desired is linked to my success as a parent. Will we disappoint them? How much is enough? How much is too much? Stuff. Things. Shiny, sparkly want. I wander through stores, doing math in my head. I don't see the magic. This is not a lecture. An intervention in an envelope arrived in the mail. Something amazing happened to my family. Here is my Christmas Story. My, "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus."

This year has been difficult. We have struggled. We have made difficult decisions. We struggle to make ends meet. We stretch our dollar and creativity as we hurdle through. We have watched our savings shrink and our debt increase. We are in an ebb. We hope for the flow.

During this, we have done everything in our power to keep the children unaware, though stress always leaks into the home. Children always know. We have been home more. They are small. They don't understand why they can't participate in classes with friends. They ask for experiences outside of our reach. We have to say no. They are starting to ask less. We are finally settling into a new normal.

This year, my husband and I sat down to delicately discuss Christmas. What would we do? Which credit card had the lowest APR? How would we pay it off? We argued about who was going to go pick out the stuff, things and shiny, sparkly want.

Yesterday, a simple envelope arrived. Red, addressed to our family, begging to be opened. Our last name was misspelled. There was no return address. I opened the envelope. Inside was a card. The front simply said, Merry Christmas. I opened the envelope to discover one hundred dollars and the following message:

Someone once did something nice for me. It's my turn to pay it forward. Merry Christmas.

As the moment poured over me, I felt shock, joy, humility and gratitude. I knew that something incredible was happening. I believe. I believe that I was lost. I believe in the goodness of people. I believe that I want to create a new legacy of giving. I believe in moments of grace. I believe that Santa Claus is alive and well in the spirit of gracious giving in all of us. I believe in second chances. I believe in magic. I believe.

To the unknown Santa who chose our family, you have given us so much. For the selfless kindness, for the magic, for the perspective, thank you. We will not forget your reminder of the true meaning of giving. For gifts that money can't buy, thank you. And, thank you for the gift of the simple sentiment we look forward to passing along:

Someone once did something nice for me. It's my turn to pay it forward. Merry Christmas.

"Christmas magic is silent. You don't hear it --- you feel it, you know it, you believe it." - Kevin Alan Milne (The Paper Bag Christmas)