PSA: Please Don't Be A Holidick Or Jerky Turkey

As Thanksgiving and the subsequent winter holidays speed toward us like a runaway Polar Express, I watch, in magical wonder, as relatively normal people become bitter, angry, humorless and resentful online, and, in real life. It's getting cold outside and frankly, so are our hearts. I understand how this could happen given the enormous amount of pressure we place on ourselves, our families, complete strangers and innocent bystanders during the holidays and, true, there is NO excuse for the suddenly shocking shortage of alcohol on your store shelves, but, I beg of you, check yourself before you wreck yourself.  Could you be a holidick?

hol·i·dick

noun

1. a person set on ruining a custom, festivities or any event or celebration directly related to or, in commemoration of some event or in honor of someperson.

adjective

1. of or pertaining to joyless festival; lack of festivity; lack of joyous celebration: a holidick mood.

2. unsuitable for a holiday: Why are you looking at me with that holidick stare? or, Setting my santa hat on fire was a holidick move.

(synonym: holidouche)

Dear friends, let's remember what the holidays are all about: grace, giving, joy, peace and making sure, for a few short weeks, you drink just enough to embrace the fun in family dysfunction, yet, not so much that you discuss Aunt Jolene's Oxycontin dependence over mini pumpkin cheesecakes. Remember, don't be a BAH HUMBUG, just kindly pass the Rum...bug. It's the best I could do. Sue me. Please don't.

Remember, no matter who gets the largest part of the wishbone, we're ALL winners. Pass the Pinot Noir.

Rusty likes to throw snowballs at defenseless young women. Rusty is a holidick.